NSFW: Discussion of BJs

[Snowman]

Okay, I think this can be PG-13 since well, PG-13 movies contain such references (heck, even network TV does). If you don't agree, axe it and we're done :).

With the discussion of "ghey being the new lame", I feel that the bj gets a pretty negative rap as well. When some guy is speaking rudely to you and says "S*ck my d*ck", well, it does make the whole thing sound less than desirable. There doesn't seem to be a negative line like that in the reversal act to a woman.

I'm pretty sure pretty much every adult here will say that they rather enjoy such activities. But I have this whole "stick in the mud" (do NOT go there) issue with it. I'm trying to remember the movie, but the phrase was something like "She kisses my kids with that mouth". I'm thinking the Untouchables, but it ain't important.

How did the practice become derogatory and why? I realize there's certainly an "anti-gay" sentiment behind a guy saying it to another guy, but I've heard guys say it to gals as well.

So, I've got this hang-up, for a few different reasons, but certainly the derogatory aspects bother me. There's also the whole "just lay there" aspect as I'm a very "hands on" kind of person. I don't lay back and relax very well. Perhaps if I were using a service that I consider "negative", I wouldn't be so concerned about it.

Well, I love my wife, respect her greatly, and just don't know a reasonable and decent way to request such actions. I ain't saying it doesn't happen, just that I'm not sure of a "respectful" way to ask.

I will end such ramblings with one strong sentiment... the fact of the matter is that "almost" always, I'd prefer to have full-on sex instead of a one-sided affair. And while in my younger days, I could and was interested in "re-loading", I'm more of a one-shot wonder these days.

[d-dub]

Sounds like a couple things going on for you, snowman.

The first is the idea that some sexual activities are wrong, dirty or immoral. Really, there's nothing on the sexual menu that hasn't been done since people started walking the planet. Ideas about which of them are good and which are bad are a product of our society and our upbringing. There's nothing wrong with oral sex, whatever the gender combination. It's just something that feels good. "Those lips kiss my kids," well, the same semen is what made your kids ;)

The second sounds like a communication issue. Talking about sexual issues can be uncomfortable for many people. That's not because sex is bad, but because we feel that sex is bad, or we feel guilty wanting it or we feel guilty because it feels good even though our mother, father, or minister told us it was dirty.

Chances are, if you can't talk about sex openly with your partner, you probably aren't enjoying sex with your partner (that's a general statement, not directed at you, snowman). If your wife is willing, you could try building better communication with her regarding sex. Vocabulary is a good starting point...what words you each like and what words you don't like. From there, you can progress to talking about what sexual activities you each like, and how you can make your sexual encounters more satisfying to each of you.

[Jobeth66]

Um, how about just *asking* her? Tell her what you like and ask her if she'll entertain the idea, or ask what she'd like in exchange.

[Makita]

Wasn't it warren who had a stick-figure drawing, showing what one could do while receiving?

Need to communicate what you want/need, otherwise she'll never know you want/need it. Who knows, maybe she has a burning desire to watch you play with a pair of college twins.
Yeah, yeah, with your luck she'd want the twins to be 350# GUY twins, but the idea of her not asking for something that you might like, could still pretty solid.

[InigoMontoya]

Um, how about just *asking* her? Tell her what you like and ask her if she'll entertain the idea, or ask what she'd like in exchange.
And if she doesn't? Well then, just grab a handful of hair near the nape of her neck and "encourage" her.

Well.... OK, maybe Snowy's wife would disagree but I know that Jobeth's panties just got a little wetter when she read that. :coolsmiley:

[JustAllie]

I have this whole "stick in the mud" (do NOT go there) issue with it. I'm trying to remember the movie, but the phrase was something like "She kisses my kids with that mouth". I'm thinking the Untouchables, but it ain't important.

How did the practice become derogatory and why?
I don't really know the answer to that question, but I do recall my mom telling me once that it was not uncommon for men in her generation to frequent prostitutes when they wanted oral sex because they did not want their wives committing such acts. It was considered too "dirty" for the mother of one's children, apparently.

Seems very odd to me that someone would go to a prostitute (and then come home and potentially expose that same wife to sexually transmitted diseases) rather than have a more open sexual relationship with their own spouse, but there you have it.

OK, you can all now laugh about the fact that I've discussed oral sex with my mom. Just be glad I'm not recounting the entire conversation. :p

[Adam1115]

I don't really know the answer to that question, but I do recall my mom telling me once that it was not uncommon for men in her generation to frequent prostitutes when they wanted oral sex because they did not want their wives committing such acts. It was considered too "dirty" for the mother of one's children, apparently.

Ahhh.. the good 'ol days...

[AliaDoh]

I'm not sure how you'd ask her... lately I just don't waste time making guys ask, and just get down to business.

Some girls like to do it, and if that's the case, it's not like it's one-sided. Your wife? I have no idea.

[ruidh]

With the discussion of "ghey being the new lame", I feel that the bj gets a pretty negative rap as well. When some guy is speaking rudely to you and says "S*ck my d*ck", well, it does make the whole thing sound less than desirable. There doesn't seem to be a negative line like that in the reversal act to a woman.


<flo>Kiss my grits!</flo>

[DougF]

...I'm trying to remember the movie, but the phrase was something like "She kisses my kids with that mouth". I'm thinking the Untouchables, but it ain't important...

I think it was Analyze This or Analyze That. Whichever one was the first one. I didn't see the second one.

[IndyJones1023]

You don't have to be hands off. Some women like when you guide their heads. Really like it.

Excuse me, I have to go now.

[procrastinator]

You don't have to be hands off. Some women like when you guide their heads. Really like it.


For the record, some of us don't. Or at least not all the time. If the guy controls where we go, there's no room for creativity! Or for the woman to attempt to control when she "lets" him finish.

--Debbie

[Combat Medic]

I'm not sure how you'd ask her... lately I just don't waste time making guys ask, and just get down to business.

Some girls like to do it, and if that's the case, it's not like it's one-sided. Your wife? I have no idea.

Really? Where do you live again?

[Jobeth66]

Um, how about just *asking* her? Tell her what you like and ask her if she'll entertain the idea, or ask what she'd like in exchange.
And if she doesn't? Well then, just grab a handful of hair near the nape of her neck and "encourage" her.

Well.... OK, maybe Snowy's wife would disagree but I know that Jobeth's panties just got a little wetter when she read that. :coolsmiley:

Did not either.

So there.

:p

[jen]

Do not control me!

Guide maybe. :p

You have to be willing to talk openly and communicate about sex. Our sex life is much better now that we are more open.

[Marc]

I want to thank you all for doing a wonderful job for bringing up an adult topic in a very educational and sensitive way without turning it into something that would belong in the adults-only area.

[WhoMe]

God put ears on a woman for a reason Snowman. :D

[d-dub]

I want to thank you all for doing a wonderful job for bringing up an adult topic in a very educational and sensitive way without turning it into something that would belong in the adults-only area.

Until now.:rolleyes:

[Snowman]

We are VERY, VERY, VERY open in communication. It's the phrasing that throws me off. It also seems like it's selfish on my part, although I do the reverse just fine and don't find it selfish on her part at all. It's just a hang-up I have, I guess.

[d-dub]

We are VERY, VERY, VERY open in communication. It's the phrasing that throws me off. It also seems like it's selfish on my part, although I do the reverse just fine and don't find it selfish on her part at all. It's just a hang-up I have, I guess.

Lot's of people feel good giving pleasure, but feel guilty receiving it, but remember that without a receiver, there can't be a giver.

As for terminology, just ask your wife what her preference is for referring to fellatio... who knows where that discussion might end up ;)

[AliaDoh]

.

[Mikkel_Knight]

Shower with him - clean the area to your satisfaction, and then go to town...

[montag]

Put him on a grapefruit juice IV, shave his cock/balls/pubic area, and bleach his asshole.

Enjoy!

[bsnelson]

Shower with him - clean the area to your satisfaction, and then go to town...Good suggestion. A good old fashioned bath could do that as well. It can even be part of the foreplay!

Brad

[StanSimmons]

I have a question I thought I'd ask, and I figured I'd just add it to Snowy's thread, since it's related.

I'm seeing a new guy, and I wanted to go down on him, but I think perhaps his personal hygiene in the area is lacking. Bluntly stated, he smells down there. Moreso than I have noticed with others in the past. I want to do things with him, but needless to say it is less enjoyable with that problem. I don't know how to help him fix it. I don't want to be direct about it, because he's pretty self-concious in general about his body, and I know that if a guy said to me "hey, you smell!" I would totally freak out. Any suggestions for how to bring this up? He's a pretty big guy, and I have the feeling that he's just not sufficiently cleaning up down there.

Okay, that was probably really gross. But I could use assistance.

Play nurse... give him a sponge bath. He won't mind, especially if you are in a "naughty nurse" outfit. ;)

[AliaDoh]

Put him on a grapefruit juice IV, shave his cock/balls/pubic area, and bleach his asshole.

Enjoy!

Gee, I don't know why I didn't just pm you for the answer in the first place!