Results 1 to 21 of 21
  1. Collapse Details
    "Penises of the Animal Kingdom" poster 
    #1
    Mayor Administrator Marc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    McMurray, PA
    Posts
    6,648
    Blog Entries
    17
    Many years ago, I was given a poster entitled "Penises of the Animal Kingdom". It is notable for receiving an "Ig Nobel" award for art in 1992:
    Presented jointly to Jim Knowlton, modern Renaissance man, for his classic anatomy poster "Penises of the Animal Kingdom," and to the U.S. National Endowment for the Arts for encouraging Mr. Knowlton to extend his work in the form of a pop-up book
    The image here links to the Picasaweb album where the full-size image is available to zoom in.



    These are all drawn to scale. The one on the left is the largest, that of the whale. Man's is the one on the right.

    It comes with a little leaflet (listed below) giving interesting tidbits about animal penises.

    Anyway, as much as I think this poster is a very novel piece to hold on to, I realize that I'm never going to hang it up and perhaps someone else might enjoy it. For $10 flat (in the US), it can be yours.

    Here is the text that is included with the poster.
    Penises of the Animal Kingdom features anatomically accurate representations of the male copulatory organs of several animals, including man. Each illustration was rendered with close attention to proportion and scale, the overall size determined by the average physical dimensions of the genitalia of adult males.

    With the exception of man, the entire organ is depicted, from tip to base. In other words, each figure includes any segment of the penis contained within the body of the animal: the internal portion is a significant fraction of the entire length of most animal penises. All organs are pictured erect at 20 percent of actual size.

    Each penis has certain outstanding features. The human organ possesses a well defined glans, or tip. This mushroom shaped end is one of the most evolved glandes of the animal kingdom.

    The dog penis has a bulbous enlargement that is present only during erection. This bulb is the reason dogs "get stuck" while copulating. The female contracts her vagina around the trapped penis to extract seminal fluids.

    Hyenas are well known for the similarity of the male and female genital organs. A female's erect clitoris is nearly impossible to distinguish from a male's penis. Covering the glans of each organ are sharp, backwardly directed spines.

    The penises of the ram, giraffe and goat have extensions of the urethra. The urethras of the giraffe and ram can extend up to four centimeters beyond the glans of the penis, forming a pliant hook.

    The porpoise has a remarkable penis. The longer branch of its forked end is actually jointed, allowing the tip to rotate or swivel. The animal has voluntary control over this action and uses the finger-like appendage to manipulate and investigate objects in its environment.

    Perhaps the oddest penis is that of the pig. During erection, the end of the penis convolutes into a corkscrew bearing an uncanny resemblance to the animal's coiled tail. The helical end of the erect organ conforms to the twisted contours of the female's vagina.

    The horse penis is similar to that of the human; it also has a well defined glans. A dissimilar feature is a slight extension of the urethra.

    The bull penis has an interesting history. Because of its rope-like consistency and proportions, it was used in the Middle Ages as a flogging stick. Today in some parts of the world it is dried and used as a walking cane.

    The elephant has a very muscular penis. Half of the curved organ forms the pendulous portion, yet only the very end penetrates the hard-to-reach vulva of the female during copulation.

    Whales have the largest penises of all animals. A blue whale penis can measure thirteen feet in length and one foot in diameter. The poster pictures the sperm whale penis with a length of over seven feet.
    Reply With Quote
     

  2. Collapse Details
     
    #2
    Senior Member Makita's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Orange County, Ca
    Posts
    5,019
    the 3rd grader in me wants to quote and Bold-FYP the entire post up there...

    he he he

    would make a good White elephant gift.
    "Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

    Reply With Quote
     

  3. Collapse Details
     
    #3
    Senior Member mercurial's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Caraleigh, NC
    Posts
    6,800
    No wonder women always want to "swim" with the dolphins!

    Daphne: Please understand, the horny Bard does not represent us.
    ---
    Mort Kemnon: You really think you've defeated me?
    Luster: You did just explode.
    Brother Silence: Twice, actually.
    Reply With Quote
     

  4. Collapse Details
     
    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    A penis can measure thirteen feet in length and one foot in diameter


    That's got to hurt !!!
    Reply With Quote
     

  5. Collapse Details
     
    #5
    Senior Member trainman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Sherman Oaks, CA
    Posts
    1,638
    I remember that poster from one of the suite lounge areas in my college dorm. Not the suite in which I lived (where the only poster we had on the wall was this Kristi Yamaguchi "Got Milk?" poster).
    trainman is trainman
    Reply With Quote
     

  6. Collapse Details
     
    #6
    Mayor Administrator Marc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    McMurray, PA
    Posts
    6,648
    Blog Entries
    17
    So, no interest in this poster?

    I'd put it up on eBay, but somehow I suspect they'd refuse it as being adult content.
    Reply With Quote
     

  7. Collapse Details
     
    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    I'd put it up on eBay, but somehow I suspect they'd refuse it as being adult content.
    Umm.... You are aware that ebay has an entire adult section in which everything from bondage videos to dildos are sold, right?
    Reply With Quote
     

  8. Collapse Details
     
    #8
    Mayor Administrator Marc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    McMurray, PA
    Posts
    6,648
    Blog Entries
    17
    No, I didn't. I thought they had banned adult content some time ago. I guess I was mistaken.

    Okay, good, so I'll be able to put it on eBay. I hope I'm not relegated to the adult section as its purchaser might end up being sorely disappointed.
    Reply With Quote
     

  9. Collapse Details
     
    #9
    Mayor Administrator Marc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    McMurray, PA
    Posts
    6,648
    Blog Entries
    17
    Ah, once I trying clicking on the "Mature Audiences" link, eBay prompted me to confirm that I wanted to see adult-oriented content, and now my search for "penis" brings up thousands of items that weren't there before.

    Thanks for the help, Inigo!
    Reply With Quote
     

  10. Collapse Details
     
    #10
    Senior Member Makita's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Orange County, Ca
    Posts
    5,019
    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    Ah, once I trying clicking on the "Mature Audiences" link, eBay prompted me to confirm that I wanted to see adult-oriented content, and now my search for "penis" brings up thousands of items that weren't there before.

    Thanks for the help, Inigo!
    I thought you were selling...


    "Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

    Reply With Quote
     

  11. Collapse Details
    Your Poster 
    #11
    Marc--I'll give you $10 for it. I have the perfect spot to hang it! What are the dimensions of the poster?
    Last edited by Jack; 01-17-2008 at 11:04 AM.
    Reply With Quote
     

  12. Collapse Details
     
    #12
    Senior Member mercurial's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Caraleigh, NC
    Posts
    6,800
    Quote Originally Posted by Jack View Post
    How big is it?

    Daphne: Please understand, the horny Bard does not represent us.
    ---
    Mort Kemnon: You really think you've defeated me?
    Luster: You did just explode.
    Brother Silence: Twice, actually.
    Reply With Quote
     

  13. Collapse Details
     
    #13
    Blinded by science procrastinator's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Northeast US
    Posts
    3,854
    Quote Originally Posted by Jack View Post
    How big is it?
    I'd bet larger than an emu, but smaller than an orca.

    Just guessing, though.



    --Debbie
    Reply With Quote
     

  14. Collapse Details
     
    #14
    Mayor Administrator Marc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    McMurray, PA
    Posts
    6,648
    Blog Entries
    17
    Quote Originally Posted by Jack View Post
    Marc--I'll give you $10 for it. I have the perfect spot to hang it! What are the dimensions of the poster?
    It's 35" x 23", but it's already up on eBay, I'm afraid. Sorry!
    Reply With Quote
     

  15. Collapse Details
     
    #15
    Senior Member Fleegle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Phoenix, AZ
    Posts
    1,280
    Holy crap, Marc! $42 for a poster you only wanted $10 for in this thread! Congrats!
    Reply With Quote
     

  16. Collapse Details
     
    #16
    Senior Member retrodog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Houston/Galveston TX
    Posts
    558
    It's incomplete on the left. The image got cut off just before it got to Chuck Norris.
    When every second counts... the police are only minutes away.
    Reply With Quote
     

  17. Collapse Details
    Your Poster of Posters 
    #17
    Is it still available? If so, I want it. Please, please say that you still have it, or know where to get more.
    This is a dream- to find this......
    thank you.
    cjw
    Reply With Quote
     

  18. Collapse Details
     
    #18
    Mayor Administrator Marc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    McMurray, PA
    Posts
    6,648
    Blog Entries
    17
    Sorry, it was sold on eBay back in January.

    Out of curiosity, why is it a dream to find it?
    Reply With Quote
     

  19. Collapse Details
     
    #19
    Senior Member Makita's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Orange County, Ca
    Posts
    5,019
    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    Out of curiosity, why is it a dream to find it?
    I honestly hope I am not the only one now humming the 'I dream of Jeannie' theme song here.

    If I was the only one, I am glad you (dear readers) have it stuck in your head, now.
    "Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

    Reply With Quote
     

  20. Collapse Details
     
    #20
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Rural West TN
    Posts
    3,982
    The dog penis has a bulbous enlargement that is present only during erection. This bulb is the reason dogs "get stuck" while copulating. The female contracts her vagina around the trapped penis


    Proof that humans are more evolved. The male of the human species simply says "well, I'm done, bye". Imagine if your partner could hold you in position until he/she decided you were finished
    I am busy Occupying America! I thought about occupying somewhere else, but I can't get a passport.
    Reply With Quote
     

  21. Collapse Details
     
    #21
    Blinded by science procrastinator's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Northeast US
    Posts
    3,854
    Quote Originally Posted by Snowman View Post
    Imagine if your partner could hold you in position until he/she decided you were finished
    Mmmm, yummmm. Yes, I'm imagining!

    --Debbie
    Reply With Quote
     

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •