Cell phone rudeness?

[Pendragn]

I was at my cousin's house for Thanksgiving. He had some computer work he wanted done while I was there. Networking some computers, hooking up a KVM, etc. When I start on the computers the house is empty except for he and I and our spouses. We're all in the basement near the computers with the Cowboys game on. His cell phone upstairs rings while we're all talking. He goes upstairs, answers it, then brings it back into the room while on it completely interupting the conversation the other three of us are having. I ask him if he could take it outside to another room as it's obivous it's going to be a long call and he's doing nothing to cut it short. He about half joking about half seriously tells me it's his house, implying he can do what he wants and he keeps right on talking on the phone. It was obvious he had no intention of ending the call or getting up and leaving the room. I say "Yup, and if I don't like it I can leave." And I did.

One computer was in pieces on the desk. His girlfriend asked him to leave the room, but he was pissed and he's stubborn so he wouldn't do it. So I picked my stuff up, got Jill and the baby and we left.

I admit to being sensitive to people carrying on social cell phone conversations when they're in a group and interupting other people. This just seemed rude. The game was on another TV upstairs, so it's not like he needed to be in that room to watch it.

Anyway, I guess I just wanted to share the story and maybe see if I was out of line for saying anything or not finishing the task before I left. I am not questioning whether he could do it, I agree 100% it's his house and he can do whatever he likes there. I heard it said once that no act is so rude that it can't be justified with a cell phone and I truly believe it.

tk

[Jobeth66]

I don't think you were out of line. You disagreed with him, it's his house, he chooses to be rude to his guests, so you did what you could.

You took time to go visit him, and he obviously valued his conversation more than your company.

[dobrien]

He acted like a self-absorbed jerk. You, IMHO, overreacted a bit by leaving. Maybe you should have just gone upstairs until he was done being a jerk.

[InigoMontoya]

I, sir, would like to buy you a drink. Classic... Especially if he's a compu-moron and that computer in pieces will stay in pieces until he gets somebody else in there.

[Pendragn]

Originally Posted by dobrien

He acted like a self-absorbed jerk. You, IMHO, overreacted a bit by leaving. Maybe you should have just gone upstairs until he was done being a jerk.

I don't disagree on either count. He was talking to his kids so I knew the call was going to be long. I didn't want to sit around on principle for that long. Second, it pissed me off that he was asking me for a favor and then was being rude to me while I was executing said favor. We're both stubborn, so I think once I decided I wanted to mention it the outcome was already decided.

This is something that seems to be coming up a lot. Another buddy of mine called someone on his cell phone right before getting into my car with me to ride home from martial arts practice. He talked to this person, socially, for the entire ride. I couldn't talk to him, I couldn't listen the radio, nothing. When he got off the phone I told him I thought he was being rude too. I'm really getting tired of people forgetting about the rest of the people in the world when they get a cell phone in their hands.

tk

[JoLt]

This is why i hardly ever take my cell phone into any place. There is no reason for me to take a phone call in a store or at another persons house. Usually when i go someplace i leave the phone in the truck and when i go back out to truck to leave ill return any calls i got while in the places.

[gregor]

I can see your point. Would it have been different if he took a call on his landline, using a cordless phone?

[Pendragn]

Originally Posted by gregor

I can see your point. Would it have been different if he took a call on his landline, using a cordless phone?

I don't think so.

tk

[kar74]

I applaud your decision to leave! He was definitely being rude. All he had to do was say, "I've got company - let me call you back." It's really not that difficult.

[DougF]

Originally Posted by gregor

I can see your point. Would it have been different if he took a call on his landline, using a cordless phone?

I bet the guy would've acted differently and maybe taken the call in another room or called the other party back later. Something about cell phones just changes people it seems.

[Pendragn]

Originally Posted by kar74

I applaud your decision to leave! He was definitely being rude. All he had to do was say, "I've got company - let me call you back." It's really not that difficult.

I think my demands were even less than that. It didn't bother me that he took the call. His kids were calling and I have no problem with him wanting to talk to them. Plus there were two other people there so I was being entertained, and I was working on his computer. My only complaint was that he chose to take the call in the only room in the house where there were people trying to carry on a conversation. There was no advantage to him talking the call in that room. He actually answered the phone in another room and brought it into the room where the people were talking. I just don't get it. What makes people think that's okay?

tk

[grondramb]

Originally Posted by Pendragn

It was obvious he had no intention of ending the call or getting up and leaving the room. I say "Yup, and if I don't like it I can leave." And I did.

One computer was in pieces on the desk. His girlfriend asked him to leave the room, but he was pissed and he's stubborn so he wouldn't do it. So I picked my stuff up, got Jill and the baby and we left.

I admit to being sensitive to people carrying on social cell phone conversations when they're in a group and interupting other people.

I'm coming in late here but don't see this as a phone specific issue. If people who are the hosts won't make even the most minimal courtesy to visitors, the visitors are rational to leave.

[Mysteryman]

Originally Posted by Pendragn

I think my demands were even less than that. It didn't bother me that he took the call. His kids were calling and I have no problem with him wanting to talk to them. Plus there were two other people there so I was being entertained, and I was working on his computer. My only complaint was that he chose to take the call in the only room in the house where there were people trying to carry on a conversation. There was no advantage to him talking the call in that room. He actually answered the phone in another room and brought it into the room where the people were talking. I just don't get it. What makes people think that's okay?

tk

You rock!

I don't know if I would have been able to do what you did, but its inspiring. Why is it that we put up with people being rude to us so often? What you didn't wasn't rude in return. If the equation is [having their company + their hospitality - the computer favor - the rude cell phone call = negative experience] you decided and acted correctly.

[grondramb]

Originally Posted by Mysteryman

You rock!

I don't know if I would have been able to do what you did, but its inspiring. Why is it that we put up with people being rude to us so often? What you didn't wasn't rude in return. If the equation is [having their company + their hospitality - the computer favor - the rude cell phone call = negative experience] you decided and acted correctly.

Necessary but not sufficient is a supportive wife.

[Snowman]

Originally Posted by JoLt

This is why i hardly ever take my cell phone into any place. There is no reason for me to take a phone call in a store or at another persons house. Usually when i go someplace i leave the phone in the truck and when i go back out to truck to leave ill return any calls i got while in the places.

Many of us work in IT and are on-call 24x7, so we have to. The point isn't that the guy got a call, the issue was that he was so self-absorbed that he didn't think about anything but himself. When it was pointed out to him, he chose to pull the "it's my house" card.

[Philosofy]

I should show this thread to my wife. We have cordless phones, and sometimes we'll be watching a show I like, but she doesn't care for. If her mother calls, she takes it in the TV room, and I have to hit pause until they are done. Maybe next time I'll just crank up the volume and deal with the consequences.

[grondramb]

Originally Posted by Snowman

Many of us work in IT and are on-call 24x7, so we have to. The point isn't that the guy got a call, the issue was that he was so self-absorbed that he didn't think about anything but himself. When it was pointed out to him, he chose to pull the "it's my house" card.

Exactly - I'm on call 24x7x362 - calls are part of the business. So is courtesy and not sending my friends and family the message they have no value.

[Gus]

Originally Posted by Pendragn

Another buddy of mine called someone on his cell phone right before getting into my car with me to ride home from martial arts practice. He talked to this person, socially, for the entire ride. I couldn't talk to him, I couldn't listen the radio, nothing.

I've found that the people who talk on their cell phones incessantly are often the same people who have their car radios up so loud that you have to yell to be heard above the din. You should have turned on some music. I bet he wouldn't have even noticed.

[IndyJones1023]

Good on ya, Todd!

[dobrien]

Originally Posted by Pendragn

I don't disagree on either count. He was talking to his kids so I knew the call was going to be long. I didn't want to sit around on principle for that long. Second, it pissed me off that he was asking me for a favor and then was being rude to me while I was executing said favor. We're both stubborn, so I think once I decided I wanted to mention it the outcome was already decided.

This is something that seems to be coming up a lot. Another buddy of mine called someone on his cell phone right before getting into my car with me to ride home from martial arts practice. He talked to this person, socially, for the entire ride. I couldn't talk to him, I couldn't listen the radio, nothing. When he got off the phone I told him I thought he was being rude too. I'm really getting tired of people forgetting about the rest of the people in the world when they get a cell phone in their hands.

tk

100% agree. I would've felt totally used after dropping him off.

[Philosofy]

Todd, you have nothing to be ashamed about. Your buddy owes you an apology.

[Pendragn]

Originally Posted by dobrien

100% agree. I would've felt totally used after dropping him off.

His fianace was at my house with my wife, so after he got off the phone I told him how rude it was and how it really sucks for the other person when he does stuff like that. He said his finance has told him the same thing before. I asked him how many people had to tell him before he believed it. When we got to the house his fiance was very excited that someone else had told him that too. He's a good friend, so I tried to be cool about it. Unlike my cousin he seemed genuinely sorry and embarrased when I mentioned it to him.

tk

[eddyj]

Todd, you are a self righteous prick! I can't believe you reacted like that.






Good for you!

[JoLt]

Originally Posted by Snowman

Many of us work in IT and are on-call 24x7, so we have to. The point isn't that the guy got a call, the issue was that he was so self-absorbed that he didn't think about anything but himself. When it was pointed out to him, he chose to pull the "it's my house" card.

Im also in IT and on call but i know i wont be in a store for that long of a time. I just hate being behind people that are always on their phone.

[Super Dave]

Nextel people are the worst! They refuse to put the walkie talkie feature on private and everyone has to put up with the blaring Charlie Brown speaker.