The ant and the grasshopper. Who comes up with this stuff? It's great!

[davebogart]

The ant and the grasshopper

Two Different Versions! Two Different Morals!

OLD VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

-------------------------------------------

MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands
to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others
are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering
grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table
filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is
allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries
when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the
news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Jesse then has
the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the
ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an
immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act
retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs
and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is
confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation
suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal
judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare
recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the
ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be
the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now
abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once
peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2008.

[pseudonym]

The old version? Aesop.

The new version? Karl Rove.

[smak]

New version:2001-2008 never happened.

-smak-

[JP]

I love conservative bedtime-stories.

PLEASE, Pa, tell us another?

Tell us the one about the brave Maverick who defeated the evil community organizer!

No, wait! I wanna hear my favorite! Tell us the one about the WMD and how we'll be greeted as liberators with flowers and candy!

[davebogart]

Originally Posted by JPriller

I love conservative bedtime-stories.

PLEASE, Pa, tell us another?

Okay, here's a good one:

Today on my way to lunch Stephen & I passed a homeless guy with a sign that read 'Vote Obama, I need the money.' We laughed.

Once in the restaurant my server had on a 'Obama 08' tie, again we laughed as he had given away his political preference--just imagine the coincidence.

When the bill came I got the check but Stephen demanded to take care of the tip. Stephen decided not to tip the server and explained to him that he was exploring the Obama redistribution of wealth concept. He stood there in disbelief while Stephen told him that he was going to redistribute his tip to someone who he deemed more in need--the homeless guy outside. The server angrily stormed from our sight.

We went outside, stephen gave the homeless guy $10 and told him to thank the server inside as I've decided he could use the money more. The homeless guy was grateful.

At the end of my rather unscientific redistribution experiment we realized the homeless guy was grateful for the money he did not earn, but the waiter was pretty angry that we gave away the money he did earn even though the actual recipient deserved money more.

I guess redistribution of wealth is an easier thing to swallow in concept than in practical application..........OR....... IS IT REDISTRIBUTION OF SOMEONE ELSE'S WEALTH THAT IS A GREAT IDEA..............or just a fools game !!

[JP]

Originally Posted by davebogart

Okay, here's a good one:

It's actually this one:

http://directorblue.blogspot.com/200...e-its-not.html

But okay, the moral of this story is "conservatives are asshole jerks"?

And if I'm not mistaken, one version of the story concludes with him going back the next day to discover the server has been Born Again politically, having Seen The Error Of His Ways, and is wearing a McCain tie. The moral of THAT story would be "conservatives are asshole jerks who make stuff up to make themselves look important"?

[TheIndependent]

asshole jerks? the story is exactly what the redistribution of wealth proponent want to do, take money from the people with more and give it to the people with less. what exactly is off about the story JP (other than it probably being made-up, the point about removing the waiter's tip to give to the unemployed homeless man is still salient)

[davebogart]

Originally Posted by JPriller

"conservatives are asshole jerks who make stuff up to make themselves look important"?

It's ugly comments like this that make me think all liberals are vile people.

[JP]

Originally Posted by pdjplano

asshole jerks?

Yup. What had the waiter done to the asshole jerk in the story other than hold a different opinion than his? So the asshole jerk decides to be an asshole jerk about it. It's not surprising to me, conservative humor often seems to revolve around making other people suffer, either to teach them a lesson or just for jollies (or both).

Originally Posted by pdjplano

the story is exactly what the redistribution of wealth proponent want to do

BZZZT. Nope, it's not. Nobody steals the waiter's tip in any Dem scheme. But if the asshole jerk had said instead "I want to show you what Obama's plans are about, so I'm going to give you an 9 dollar tip and how about I give the other dollar to that hungry guy out front, would that be okay?", then it wouldn't be much of a conservative bedtime-story.

[davebogart]

Originally Posted by JPriller

Nobody steals the waiter's tip in any Dem scheme. But if the asshole jerk had said instead "I want to show you what Obama's plans are about, so I'm going to give you an 9 dollar tip and how about I give the other dollar to that hungry guy out front, would that be okay?", then it wouldn't be much of a conservative bedtime-story.

Same story. Just different extremes.

[JP]

Originally Posted by davebogart

It's ugly comments like this that make me think all liberals are vile people.

We're even then, I guess, it's stories like the one you posted that could surely make a person think all conservative people are. Certainly the guy telling the story is a vile and contemptible little person.

And if in the version I mentioned he expects us to believe he came back later and the waiter had Converted, then he's both a liar and a fool in addition.

[JP]

Originally Posted by davebogart

Same story. Just different extremes.

Other than one wouldn't include being needlessly mean to a hard-working waiter who's only crime is having a differing political opinion than your own and that would reflect reality far better than conservative fantasy?

But if we're allowed to take liberties with extremes, I can say things like John McCain wants to start a war with every country on earth. Okay, he only wants to start one with Iran, but it's the same story just with different extremes, right?

[davebogart]

So I take it these little parables haven't swayed you?

[JP]

Originally Posted by davebogart

So I take it these little parables haven't swayed you?

They've swayed me more liberal, if that's what you mean.

Have you conservative types ever considered discussing the merits of your beliefs factually and actually, rather than making up these wild fantasy bedtime-stories for yourselves where it's fun to be mean to people who don't believe what you do?

[davebogart]

Originally Posted by JPriller

They've swayed me more liberal, if that's what you mean.

Have you conservative types ever considered discussing the merits of your beliefs factually and actually, rather than making up these wild fantasy bedtime-stories for yourselves...?

You mean made-up stuff like this? http://www.mainsquare.org/showthread.php?t=6093

Edited to add: That was pretty funny!

[JP]

Originally Posted by davebogart

You mean made-up stuff like this? http://www.mainsquare.org/showthread.php?t=6093

Edited to add: That was pretty funny!

I liked the post better before you edited it.

And yeah, that video was pretty funny. That's for Dems to poke fun at other Dems for not voting, though, not making up stories where we laugh at the misfortunes of people who commit the crime of not agreeing with us. You can find that sort of thing in darker corners of the internet, for every fetish there's sure to be a supplier for it. But I don't find it funny, or expect conservatives to find it instructive.

[TheIndependent]

Originally Posted by JPriller

Yup. What had the waiter done to the asshole jerk in the story other than hold a different opinion than his? So the asshole jerk decides to be an asshole jerk about it. It's not surprising to me, conservative humor often seems to revolve around making other people suffer, either to teach them a lesson or just for jollies (or both).

so redirecting the server's tip (income) to someone without income (the bum) is now "making other people suffer". you seem to be adopting the wrong set of values being you support redistribution of wealth.

Originally Posted by JPriller

BZZZT. Nope, it's not. Nobody steals the waiter's tip in any Dem scheme.

bzzt, yes it is. it's as much "stealing the waiter's tip" as it is "stealing my income with increased taxation" and as much redistribution to someone that doesn't earn it/deserve just like the Dem scheme is.

Originally Posted by JPriller

But if the asshole jerk had said instead "I want to show you what Obama's plans are about, so I'm going to give you an 9 dollar tip and how about I give the other dollar to that hungry guy out front, would that be okay?"

you really don't understand Obama's plan i see. not a surprise.

[JP]

Originally Posted by pdjplano

so redirecting the server's tip (income) to someone without income (the bum) is now "making other people suffer". you seem to be adopting the wrong set of values being you support redistribution of wealth.

No Dem plan takes away everything somebody makes for their effort and gives it to somebody else. In the story the waiter does his job for the asshole jerk customer but gets no tip. That's the asshole jerk making the waiter suffer because the asshole jerk wants to make some point, one which isn't even applicable. But that's conservative humor for you, I guess.

Originally Posted by pdjplano

you really don't understand Obama's plan i see. not a surprise.

Go ahead and explain, then. What percentage of the waiter's effort for a job does any Obama tax plan take away from him? According to asshole jerk, it's 100%, at least when serving asshole jerks. What's the real percentage?

[TheIndependent]

Originally Posted by JPriller

No Dem plan takes away everything somebody makes for their effort and gives it to somebody else.

this doesn't take away everything from the waiter either. the waiter makes a base pay and his tips are a percentage of his income and extra above his base amount.

Originally Posted by JPriller

Go ahead and explain, then. What percentage of the waiter's effort for a job does any Obama tax plan take away from him? According to asshole jerk, it's 100%, at least when serving asshole jerks. What's the real percentage?

it's not 100%, and no one claimed it was.

[Otto]

Originally Posted by pdjplano

you really don't understand Obama's plan i see. not a surprise.

Well, I can't speak for JP, but I certainly do understand Obama's plan, and everything you've said in this thread is complete and utter crap.

So, on that level, I have to agree with JP: Conservatives frequently come off as jerks.

[jgerry]

I don't view the parable so much in terms of money, but in terms of compassion. I wouldn't stand around letting another person die if I could help in any way. Clearly, that's not the way the conservative mind works.

[JP]

Originally Posted by pdjplano

this doesn't take away everything from the waiter either. the waiter makes a base pay and his tips are a percentage of his income and extra above his base amount.

Most waiters get paid squat, under minimum wage even, and tips make up the bulk of their income. What Dem plan takes away the bulk of the waiter's income?

Originally Posted by pdjplano

it's not 100%, and no one claimed it was.

Well let's do some math, then. Say the waiter is making $6/hour. Say he serves an average of 3 customers an hour (it's likely more) with a $10 tip each. So every hour he makes $36, 16.6% from base and 83.3% from tips. Taxes are of course taken out. What Dem plan deprives the waiter of 83.3% more of his income for an hour of work? Or let's consider that in that hour he only has the ONE asshole jerk customer, then he's only lost 27.8% more of his income for that hour. What Dem plan does that to him?

You see why I call this a conservative bedtime-story? It's not real. Though now that I think of it, a better analogy would be "conservative porn". Seriously, it's like Penthouse Letters.

[davebogart]

Originally Posted by Otto

Well, I can't speak for JP, but I certainly do understand Obama's plan, and everything you've said in this thread is complete and utter crap.

So, on that level, I have to agree with JP: Conservatives frequently come off as jerks.

And liberals, at least within this forum, always do.

[JP]

Originally Posted by davebogart

And liberals, at least within this forum, always do.

Try being wrong less often.

(sorry, yes, I know, it's another nail in the vile-liberal coffin)

[davebogart]

Originally Posted by jgerry

I don't view the parable so much in terms of money, but in terms of compassion. I wouldn't stand around letting another person die if I could help in any way. Clearly, that's not the way the conservative mind works.

You want to talk about saving lives? Who's for killing babies? Who isn't?